The 7 year itch relationship

The Girlfriend: Forget The 7-Year Itch. The Something One Is Far Worse

the 7 year itch relationship

It's known as the seven year itch, a time of potential crisis when you traditionally take stock of your relationship and decide whether it's what you really want or. Or rather, the itch. With boring predictability, we had fallen prey to the seven-year itch – the decline in relationship satisfaction that classically. No doubt you've heard about the seven-year itch: It's a psychological theory that happiness in a relationship starts to go downhill after seven.

I was sceptical but my husband and I did it anyway, then swapped lists.

Marilyn Monroe In "The 7 Year itch" - "PillowCase In Ice Water" "That's too icky!"

He was surprised and slightly alarmed to discover that I seemed to feel the greatest love for him when there were refreshments involved, or he did something considerate to keep me warm when I felt chilly. But there were more useful ones, too. And have slept properly.

  • Most Viewed in Lifestyle
  • Everyone needs a girlfriend!
  • More on family

The more I digested this, the more it made sense — and being conscious of how my sleep or failure to exercise impacted on our relationship was a wake-up call.

When we first met, I made an effort to conceal any tired grumpiness and exercised regularly but my workout routine post-childbirth was limited to darting around after a small child. One expert suggests couples pretend they have a house guest — to help them behave better I vowed to do better and he promised to carry on making me frothy coffee and keep me in cashmere socks. To explore our negative beliefs and unhelpful behaviours step twowe needed to learn to express ourselves and be more honest.

The best way to do this seemed to be to document our relationship as it really was. And when I woke up the following morning with a hangover, this too was snapped for posterity. A Manual for the Married and the Coupled Up. She suggests that couples pretend they have a house guest in the spare room to help them behave better.

The seven-year itch - Wikipedia

They became so mindful of being overheard that they stopped rowing. Helen says she had a moment when everything felt suddenly clear. Sofie Amalie Klougart After some debate over who our hypothetical house guest should be, we decided it should be someone famous we were both aware of. Then, during a dispute over whose turn it was to give the dog its tick medicine, imaginary Joan reminded us to be civil.

By this stage, the mood in our household was already lighter. Later that month, we were ready to progress to the final step: Now, every Sunday, I lace up my trainers to go for a run while he starts on the roast.

And, once, a gravy boat… Everything felt suddenly clear to me: So, what is it that happens in relationships around this time that creates the potential for couples to split?

The seven-year itch

Stocksy Anne Hollonds, a psychologist and director of the Australian Institute of Family Studies, explains that marriage is often triggered by the decision to have children. You don't get much of a so-called honeymoon period.

the 7 year itch relationship

That tends to come before the marriage, when couples are living together. Around "itch" time, many couples are emerging from the intense phase of starting a family. It changes relationship dynamics. She and her husband dated for a couple of years before they decided to do "the next logical thing" and get married in There was little time and energy to stop and discuss how they were feeling.

How To Beat The '7-Year Itch' In Your Relationship | HuffPost Canada

When the children were both in daycare, the pair finally had an opportunity to have a meaningful discussion about the next chapter of their lives.

They fought more often and avoided difficult conversations.

the 7 year itch relationship

Hollonds says cracks in a marriage often don't show immediately, as the focus is on getting through the day. After a few months, realising how much damage had been done to the marriage, and that neither was committed to fixing it, they separated. Counsellor Hailee Walker says that resentment can build quickly when there is dissatisfaction in a relationship.

Then it becomes like lying next to a train, and it's infuriating.